DOD 18, 40 Day Challenge

Prep:
Take time to quite your mind.  Turn your thoughts to God.  Take time to tell Him Good Morning or Good Afternoon whatever is the right greeting.  Tell Him how you are feeling today.  Tell Him if there is anything good about the day so far or what you are looking forward to.  Tell Him about what you are not looking forward to.  Ask Him for strength and wisdom.  Now talk to Him about your devotional time here.  Ask Him to for ears to hear and a heart to understand what He has for you. 

Confession:
A lot if not all my problems come from my pride.  My pride kept me from being honest with anyone about my sin, my struggles and I could not get help.  My pride had me putting up fronts.  My pride had me seeking to be strong.  It was always on me to perform.  I put pressure on myself all the time.  I was going to be the one that was different. 

Even after being exposed I still could not let go.  I still was going to kick this issue in the teeth.  I told my counselor that I was trying to not be in control.  I kept trying harder to not be in control.  The irony and contradiction there are laughable.  My counselor reminded me that it was not a matter of me working to let go and not be in control but to realize this is the truth.  I am not in control. 

My pride even had me to say something as asinine to my wife as I will be the model of recovery.  How foolish.  Even after being exposed and crushing my wife I was going to impress her with my recovery.  It's embarrassing to admit that said this and thought theses things. 

During my healing there were times I asked God why.  Why did I have these temptations come into my life at these vulnerable times?  Why did I struggle with loneliness so much?  Why could I not be stronger, more confident/self assured and good like everyone else?  Why was I here?

Over time I quit asking why.  I had to accept this was my life.  I want to look at something Paul shared in II Corinthians.  (full discloser: I got the heart of this devotional from the sermon on Sunday at Southland.  My wife and I were both moved by it)

The Meat of it:
II Corinthians 12:7b-10 "Therefore, in order to keep from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

What about you:
-What are your weaknesses?  No be honest.  What are your weaknesses?

-When will you stop thinking or trying to do all the right things?  When will you stop saying you will beat this?  You won't. 

-Are you ready to let God work in you?  Are you ready to let His power come out and lead you any where?  Can you let Him decide the path and timeline?

Application:
Meditate on this-God's grace is sufficient enough for you.  You can't earn your way. Sit quietly, close your eyes.  Shut off all the sound around you.  Turn you phone down.  Breath this in.  Be weak. It is okay.  You don't have to perform.  God has it all.

Share your thoughts, feelings, reactions on GroupMe.