DOD 30: Wednesday, July 26, 2017

What is Happening?

Ok, so yesterday (Tuesday)was tough.  It started Monday evening, my wife came home really overwhelmed and disappointed with her job, spent most of the night in tears.  Then I went to work and got my commercial mower running at about 8 AM.  Then it quit again around 10:00.  By about 12”30i was frustrated and fed up with this thing that’s been giving me fits since Thursday of last week.  Re-grouped, went to another jobsite, got a few things knocked out and went back to work on the mower around 3:30.  Eureka, by 4:00 we had it running! Prayers answered.  I headed off and cut one lawn, by 5:15 I was at my second (and last) lawn for the day; stupid mower wouldn’t start! Meanwhile, my daughter started Band camp this week and suddenly needs a new flute by tomorrow (which ain’t gonna happen ‘cause money don’t grow on trees and Amazon prime cant ship that fast).  Also, Tuesday is my night for dinner at our house, and I had a DOD to write…Not a good place…I was not in a good place.

There is a point here way beyond just unloading to you all about my day. 

I want to describe to you what was happening – internally—spiritually while all this was going on.

This is exactly the kind of day that in the past would have driven me to withdraw, pity myself, look for ways to relieve the pain and seek comfort in self-righteousness, pride, defensiveness, porn, video games, all kinds of stuff that covered up the real me instead of bringing Life.

Instead, I spent my day asking and listening for the response from God,” What is Happening here?” “Why is all this going on?” “What are you trying to unveil or work here?” “Is this from you Lord or from the enemy?”.  It certainly didn’t feel like I was a beloved son as I struggled with this stupid inanimate piece of equipment that wouldn’t start.  It felt bigger than that, something else was going on and I didn’t have the eyes to see it.  I got the sense that I was being lured into something. So, I changed my question, “what agreement am I being tempted with”.  The response, “don’t fall for ‘unworthy’.  Don’t agree with ‘incapable’.”  That was it!  I felt that down deep.  I was being lured into a lie of “I just don’t have what it takes” it seems like an old school trick of the enemy at this point, but it was a real fight for me this time.  I spent the rest of the afternoon resisting this agreement.  This was a spiritual battle ground.  It wasn’t that I was all alone, God was there, I just had to keep looking to him to know where and how to swing my sword, when to put up my shield.   It took significant concentration.  It took asking for help from trusted friends.  It took time, plain and simple for the answers to get through the fog.  It took intentionality to not give in.  I was still fighting when my wife got home and the mower still wasn’t fixed…

I share all this to lead into today’s DOD.  It is simple enough, but vital. 

Ask Jesus.

That’s your assignment. Ask.  Whatever comes your way today ask for His interpretation of the situation.  Ask for his desired outcome for you.  Ask for His input in how to respond.  I said it was simple, I didn’t say it was easy.  Most of the battle I described took place in my thoughts.  “I’m alone” I panicked!  “No” I had to tell myself, “That’s a lie, hang in there.”  “I’m and idiot for not being able to figure this out”.  “No, that’s a lie, that’s not how God sees you, hang in there” and so it went all day.  It took courage to ask for help, to reach out.  “guys, I’m having a tough day, the enemy is pushing all my buttons” it took more courage to hear the truth.  “Jamie, you don’t have to cook dinner, just provide it” (my wife and I had a lovely evening out – Grace1).  My dad came by after work and helped get the mower running (grace2).  This DOD…” Jamie, use your experience today, the buttons” “Jamie, you don’t have to produce anything of your own strength, let Holy Spirit lead –let God stir” (this DOD, take it for what it is – Grace 3)  went to a new couple/marriage study group (Grace4).  I could have let a piece of my heart die today.  I could have handed it over to the enemy and agreed that I wasn’t able and wasn’t worthy.  But the sin in that would have been to deny who God has created me to be.  We all make missteps here.  We’ve all agreed that we are less than we were meant to be. 

It’s time to repent of that.  Walk out a new way.  Follow a new path.  Jesus is the way! He is the truth when lies are all around our feet. He is LIFE when all we can feel is pain and the shadow of death. 

SO, your DOD for today is to ask Jesus for His perspective today.  Do the things he says.  If he says reach out, do it! If he says “don’t buy that B.S.” listen to him, find His words of truth for you. (look back at Mondays list).  If he says rest, take it as a time to rest, a season for you to rest in him, if its only for today, take it.  Let Jesus speak to you about your experience.  Let Him interpret your day today.  Don’t take for granted that you have it all figured out on your own.  You may be wrong, and that may be the biggest gift of freedom you could receive; that your assumption, your interpretation of your circumstance and feelings isn’t the final word.  IF YOUR WILLING TO ASK, so Ask.